List Of Reasons The Last Week Of Your First Pregnancy Rocks

My bestest friend, M, is going to have her baby any day now. I’m so excited for her, and also for me, because we’ve been through so much together, and now we’ll be mommies together, too. Also, once she delivers, we can drink together again, which we haven’t been able to do in 17 months, since we carefully timed our pregnancies to overlap by only a single week. Cheers to that. Anyway, M is just a few days away from her due date, and is every bit as uncomfortable and cranky as I remember being when I was in her shoes. For her, and for all women closing in on the birth of their first baby, I present a…


List Of Reasons The Last Week Of Your First Pregnancy Rocks:

1. You get to eat at the same time as your partner. Using your dominant hand.

2. You can listen to a joke without having to simultaneously ponder whether the punchline will be funny enough that you need to sit down, cross your legs, or both.

3. You can go to the bathroom whenever you need to. Alone.

4. One more week of hormone-enhanced pregnancy sex. ‘Nuff said.

5. Continuing on that same topic, you have not yet acquired a very small person with a very accurate sex radar and a very loud alarm.

6. Your pregnancy hair. Because once your baby is born, that hair will be dirty, up in a ponytail, or both. For several months. And then it will fall out.

7. Your absent period. Because once your baby is born, you’ll have about 9 months worth of periods all at once. And as soon as the bleeding stops, you’ll worry that your real period is getting ready to start again. And if it doesn’t, you’ll worry that it’s because you’ve managed to get pregnant again. Already.

8. One more week of getting to say you’ve never been pooped on, peed on, or barfed on by another person. Um, hopefully.

9. You’re a glowing, pregnant rockstar. Strangers give up their seats on the bus for you. Old ladies come toddling across the grocery store to touch your belly. You get special parking at Babies ‘R’ Us and Walmart. After you have that kid, you’ll become invisible. Well, you’ll get special parking at Ikea. Which is nice if you need furniture with pictogram instructions and a side of meatballs. But other than that, yeah, you’re chopped liver.


Most of all, though…

10. You can sit in a rocking chair, holding the babe in your belly and dreaming of the amazing things that your body is getting ready to do, and of the sweet little miracle you’ll be holding in your arms…any day now.


All my love, M. I know you’ll do great!




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